Change Yourself

Basically, everyone of us is born and brought up in a unique way and that is the design of nature. Keeping this natural uniqueness is a source of pleasure for every one of us. This uniqueness is genetic and must be fulfilling.

Every one of us is made up of a complex set of characteristics that define who one is. Thus a personality can be said to consist of one's thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes and behaviours. Our personality may be reflected in the goals we set for ourselves.

But there are corruptions also possible after we enter the world which prove harmful to our personalities. For example, smoking is injurious to health and happinessnot only for the individual but also for the family and society of the smoker. This spreads like an infection from one person to another and is a corruption of mind, body and the whole personality. Like this, there are oter corruptions of body and mind.

Mental corruptions are more dangerous than physical corruptions because these form convictions of the person and resist any change in te mental make-up of the person. Misleading concepts such as those of religions and spirituality, on becoming convictions, corrupt the personality of the person and such corruptions resist any change very vigorously. Superiority and inferiority complexes of a person are such corruptions of the mind which are difficult to change but still possible.. 

here is a warning for such a change. Making changes in one's personality to suit a social norm or tradition, such as conformism, may prove counter-productive, because all social norms are not necessarily healthy from humanism point of view which is the ultimate test of goodness. So, before you decide to make a change, check it whether it is humanistic or not, or in other words, whether it is going to make you a better human-being. A wrong decision in this regard may lead to corrupting your personality. Mere succeeding under given circumstances is no criterion of bettering a personality. The important criteria are improving happiness of the self and the society in general. A mere success at te cost of others does not fit these criteria. Happiness of all includes real success in itself.     

When a personality gets corrupted, it may need a change to be pure again. A corruption enters a personality and becomes a habit. So, a change in personality means a change in a habit of the person. This change does not harm your uniqueness but boosts it. Changes in personality are made up through training the mind for the change.

The first step for a change is the acceptance of a need to change. Although, this begins with personal conviction, it is best supported by its declaration amongst some friends or family members. This requires some courage, and this courage is a necessity for the proposed change.

The next step for te change is repetition of wish to change again and again before friends or family members. This inculcates the change in the personality through conscious to sub-conscious level.of the mind which also makes a readjustment in personal convictions.

Teacher-Taught Relationship

In the most natural way, mother is the prime-most teacher of an infant.Then comes the turn of father who supports the mother in her teaching the child. Apart from these, curiosity of the person also works as a teacher of the person. But here we will not talk about these primitive teachers of mankind. In-stead we will discuss about formal educational teachers of students.

A teacher is often required for learning something, particularly at a tender age when self-conscience is in the budding stage. In such a situation, the teacher forces some knowledge in to the brain of the student. But not all this knowledge is grasped by the student, and this where teacher-taught relationship plays an important role.

We accept some information only when we find the source to trust-worthy and reliable. This acceptance is applicable to grasping knowledge from a teacher also. So, we have two basic attributes of a teacher as 'trust-worthiness' and 'reliability'. These attributes make the student to respect the teacher. This is the basic attribute of a student.

Traditional Indian society has a highly distorted view of a teacher, often called a 'Guru' - as he/she knowing everything. This distorted view makes the teachers failing in their functioning because no body can know everything. In fact, this concept was propounded by some jst to exploit the student community through misguidance. With increasing thinking capability of people in general, the fraud of this concept is getting exposed.

Concept of subject-wise teachers is more practicable and accepted world-wide. Under this concept, the teachers are able to prove their worth and the students find them trust-worthy and reliable.

Job of a teacher is to communicate with the student in the way the latter understand. So, every teacher has to have mastery over communication skills. This is in addition to having deep knowledge of the subject of teaching. This is just like a language which is only a medium of gaining knowledge, and not the knowledge itself. Even then knowledge of the language of communication is primary to the knowledge of the subject of teaching. Similarly, art and science of communication comes before the knowledge of the subject of the teacher. This puts a third parameter on the performance of a teacher.

Communication is not what is said or intended by the source - the teacher, but what is received and grasped by the sink - the student. Even the teacher is required to prepare the student to receive and grasp before delivering knowledge of the subject. This is like evoking and interest and curiosity in the mind of the student for knowing the subject matter. For this evocation also, the teacher is to have trust-worthiness and reliability in the eyes of the student.

Benefits of Idleness

Here is a contra view that you gain even by your idleness if you make up your mind to make good use of it. Idleness, of not only oneself but of others also, often worries persons usually remaining active all the time. But idleness is not that bad, it has many positive aspects.

When you are in resting mode, your mind gets busy in repairing your worn-out body tissues and you feel better after the rest. But there is a precondition for this gain - you must be tired of actions and your body must need a rest. Working hard and taking rest is not idleness, what we are talking about.

Idleness is when you have been taking rest with doing any tiring activities. It is just that you don't have mood to work when you should have been. Don't worry for such idle moments of your body, but to make good use of suc moments, relax your mind also and don't try to think anything, or in other words, just leave your mind free.

Mind has a tendency not to take rest unnecessarily and idle, even if the body is taking rest or just idling. Even during sleep, the mind after getting its quota of rest, engages itself in showing you dreams. So, you can not make your mind to idle about even after making it to relax.

When the mind is given signals to relax, it starts making remote connections - spatially as well as temporally, which is not possible during your routine activities or busy moments. It connects you to events of remote past or remote future, and to distant places and events. After these connections, it gives you thought waves which fuel your creativity some time later. For this, you need to give enough time to build up a large database of information from remote places or times. This accumulation will, on its own, provide you with something very new or strange, what you might not even dreamed of.  It may look fishy to you, but if you make use of such waves boldly and creatively, you put yourself in a pioneering gear through giving expressions to te strange things your mind connects you with.

For such gains, you must -

1. Don't just worry that you are idle, or have nothing to do, or have no mood to do anything.
   
2. Relax your mind from te current events, worries and problems and just keep on watching thought waves in te ocean of mind. 
3. Never treat your unorthodox thoughts as undesirable or unnecessary or vague ideas. But treasure them through some written, symbolic or pictorial notes. And let such notes accumulate.
4. At some free moments later, review tese notes and try to make some sense out of these and give these ideas a concrete shape.
   

Relationships in a Crowd and a Group

Firstly, a distinction between a crowd and a group of persons. People come together as a crowd due to some common problem and nobody knowing the solution. A group of persons is different from a crowd in the sense that it aims at a solution. So, a crowd is without an objective while a group has an objective. Thus, a crowd is problem-based with every one in demanding mode, while a group is solution-based with each one in contributing mode.

In this context, a story comes to my mind which my father told me many a times. In a prison, each arm of each prisoners was tied with a stick so that they were unable to bend their arms at elbow joints. Otherwise, they were free to move about within the prison premises and interact with each other. They used to be served with meals thrice daily. But for their straight arms, none could take the meal to his mouth and get scattered in the efforts of doing so. They have no option but to remain hungry. One day, a new prisoner came in and seeing the condition of feeding, he advised all to feed each other with the meals. Each one succeeded in getting a proper meal.   

In my opinion, the assembly of prisoners before te arrival of the new prisoner was a crowd while that after the arrival became a group. 

Do persons in a crowd have mutual relationships? Every person becomes part of a crowd in search of a solution to his/her problem in hand. He/she is there to get something without an offer of his/her contribution to the solution. So, he/she is self-centered having no concern with others. Since, every relationship is a two-way phenomenon, persons in a crowd have no mutual relationships.

Coming to a group of persons, they also have some common problems and at least one of them has in mind a solution to the common problem and others are willing to contribute to the proposed solution. They come to the group with this objective in their minds. Each of these persons is willing to contribute to the problem of each others, so their coming together results in to a multi-way traffic of individual contributions to each other. So, a group has mutual relationships.

Every problem has a solution provided each of us is willing to share his/her strength with others to solve their problems. 

Facing a Job Interview

The world is getting dominated by giant business houses, shrinking the scope for small enterprises and for self-employment. Even in self-employment, the customers are large enough to demand an appearance before an interview board before establishing a business relationship. Appearing in an interview.is an art, and for getting desired score, one has to learn this art. 

Presentation
In an interview, te interviewers don't have much time to assess and reassess a candidate, and what you make as a first impression determines your chances of getting selected. This first impression is made out from how you present yourself before the interviewers. From the look, posture and body language features, interviewers find out your mental state of confidence and courage. A few points about presentation are body erect with chest upfront, gaze directly focusing on the most important board member's face, and saying a hello or a salutation before any member asks you anything. All these things indicate that you are active and alert and ready to face the challenges ahead. 


Introduction 
Many persons forget to mention some of their relevant points of their introduction before the board and repent later. It is advisable that you prepare your introduction in writing in one or two sentences beforehand, and say it as your introduction before the board. What need be included in the introduction depends on the job responsibility and your relevance in the organization. Some research about the organization and your exact responsibilities may help you to make you more relevant before the interview board through your very introduction.  

Your Decisiveness

When you express your opinion before the board on some issue raised by a member, say it with some consideration, and when you have said, stick to it unto the last in the interview. Changing an expressed opinion in a course of few minutes, indicates that you are not capable of taking right decisions by yourself. In every job and at all levels, you are expected to take quick and correct decisions, and you are capable for this must be projected before the interview board.

Your Answers
Questions are essential part of an interview aimed at judging your intellect and your knowledge of the subject. In this connection, it is important for you to realize that no body is perfect and no body knows all. So, answer only those questions about which you are sure,otherwise express your doubts or ignorance and tell the board members that you are yet to discover the right answer. It adds to your credit if you ask the answer from the questioner to show your curiosity. 

Your Sources
A person does in busy time what he/she gathers in leisure time. How you spend your leisure is important for your career as well as your personality. So, keep on increasing your knowledge in your leisure time and let the interview board members know it. On every subject, there are numerous reference books. These reference books are not for reading but for reference only whenever needed. Relevant to your job, you must know about some such reference books. Find some opportunity during the interview to inform the members that you keep in touch with such reference books.  

A Relationship is An Accumulation of Feelings

'Rome was not built in a day' is the famous saying to impress upon us the importance of time, processes take from beginning to completion. This is applicable to human relationships also because of their long-lasting memory. The memory aspect has been studied by me on animals also which have shorter memory and there their relationships get changed quickly. But humans are quite different, they keep on storing information for later uses including that for making and deepening relationships.

The process is understood easily through analyzing an explosion of anger. When a person has disagreement for the first time with somebody, he/she digests it calmly. In case of an agreemental episode later, the earlier disagreement gets washed off or weakened. If there are repetitive disagreements with the same person, these gets converted into anger. If the anger goes on accumulating subsequently, there comes an occasion for the anger to explode and a relationship of enmity begins. Thus, the relationship is the result of accumulation of disagreements.

The same theory is applicable to friendly relationships also, wherein the romantic situation takes time to build up. The first occasion may just be a feeling of attraction, and if gets repeated it may be an introduction. Similar repetitive episodes develop into a deeper relationship with accumulated feelings for each other.

The concept has a good utility in sustaining a relationship at a desired level of feelings or seriousness. If you want your friend to stop from becoming close to you more than that you desire, just add some salt to the feeling in the next meeting. This will surely distract your friend from having deeper feelings for you. Conversely, if you don't want an enmity to grow, just add some sweetness, may be even artificial, to the relationship. The feeling of enmity shall be dissolved to some extent.

Unilateral accumulation of feelings does not get transformed into a relationship because every relationship is a bilateral phenomenon. If you have some feelings for someone and want them to grow into a relationship, you have to arouse similar feelings in the other person also and keep on nourishing them gradually without expecting an overnight transformation.