Happiness through Self-Acceptance

Happiness of a person originates from contentment from the self and this happens when you accept yourself as what you really are. But this not as easy as has been said. Accepting oneself needs knowing oneself first which is a difficult proposition. Not everybody knows him/herself for his/her misconceptions about the self or for projecting a false image of him/her to the world outside.

Self-acceptance is being pragmatic about endeavors and achievements - avoiding misadventures and reaching the peak of performance. It is neither a moral nor an ideal but is a mental construct based on realities. Thus, it is a two-way road to success without bumps of frustrations and getting exhausted. It is about the present based on the past but does not limit the future. In essence, it is what is advised by 'first deserve then desire'.  

It is an honest reckoning which provides one a respectful place today without making him/her lazy and complacent about the future. It is not accepting defeat in tough circumstances but avoiding it and getting prepared for a victory. It teaches you what is the best possibility of today and tunes you to the idea 'nothing is impossible for tomorrow'. 

Everyone of us has strengths and weaknesses. Knowing one's weaknesses is always more important than knowing the strengths. The former is important for not hitting a wrong target and getting defeated, while the latter is needed for high achievements. Once you know yourself, it becomes easier for accepting the self. Your strengths provide you confidence for being victorious but your weaknesses must not dishearten you as nobody on this earth is all-powerful. 

Self-acceptance is a spring board of lasting-success without getting negative feelings of failures. Thus, it a positive action of pragmatic understanding of the self. If you are not like that, try it and see the quantum-leap change in your performances. It shows you the focal point to concentrate your attention on whether you are designing your career moves or planning to be an entrepreneur, or looking for a life-partner.


On a broader scale, self-acceptance is accepting things and persons as they are today because of the self being part of the circumstances and everything around wherein nothing remains isolated and non-considerable. Unless we accept what is right here and right now, we can't make a right move for a change if need be.  

Acceptance is best exercised when one makes his/her assessing mind as real friend of one's personality and is made to accept it as it is in reality. In such a situation, the mind provides its best services to the personality without insisting on having some particular attributes. And this changes the personality for the better. This give pleasure to the person because he/she achieved it without any external intervention.  


The real problem in making changes for the better is that almost every one of us has a confused notion about him/herself and projects it outside. Similarly, about others also, we have imaginary notions. And when we look like interacting with each other, these notions are found to be interacting, and not the real persons. Acceptance of the reality makes direct interactions of the persons.     

The process of acceptance begins at home - accepting the oneself with compassion and approval of whatever one is. Feeling of resistance may be overcome through repeatedly saying 'yes' to oneself without any idealization. Then this acceptance may be extended to beyond oneself - to others in contact and one's circumstances. This makes a new beginning in understanding the world differently.  

Art of Developing Rapport

Humor is an emotion of humans only which may result in a smile or burst into a laughter. Thus, smiles to laughter are tools of making others agreeable to you. We may have widely differing philosophies of life, but on this count, every one agrees. Therefore, humor is, first of all, an art of persuasion. All differences melt in to a lake of concurrence with a stroke of humor, may be for a moment only. Since, making others agreeable is needed for success in all sectors of life, it is recognized as a powerful management tool in today's complicated world of business also.

A sense of humor is not only freely available, it pays by making improvements in your health. It lessens tension of mind and is thus a sure cure of depression. you need not be highly intelligent or make any intellectual efforts to be humorous, but just need be natural with your simplest natural smile. But there are some tips for developing a good rapport with others through humor.

Natural Smile
Be pleased by seeing every other person as a habit.  You will notice your allergies with some persons vanish with this habit. To begin with, you need to make some artificial efforts to smile, but with passage of time, you become naturally habitual of it. Remember, your natural smile is reflected in your eyes.

Eye Contact
With a natural smile reflected in your eyes, make an eye contact as long as naturally possible. This will develop a harmony of hearts of the two to be friendly to each other.

Slowdown Your Pace
Don't show any hurry, particularly with a new person, to develop a rapport. Keep on smiling and watch the others' response patiently. Find something for appreciation in the environment and say something about it with smiles on your face.  

Listening is More Important
In any conversation, listening is more important than saying some thing. Remember, by saying you may display your stupidity or may offend the other to mar the relationship, but by listening, there is no chance for such an eventuality. your listening shows that yo are really interested in the other person.

Take Interest in others
Show your keen interest in the other person's current mindset, but don't force yourself into his/her private matters. Leave it to the other person what he/she wants to share with you.

Be Sympathetic but not Merciful
realize the difference between sympathy and mercy. The former is displayed when you treat other as your equal and stand with him/her in moments of distress. Mercy is shown to inferior ones, which no one likes to be. 

Treatment of Equality
Although every one of us is unique, this does not make any body superior to others, particularly to the unknown ones or less-known ones. So, unless the other person treats you as superior to him/herself, treat the person at par with you. 

Touch the Heart through Skin
Touch is the best way to develop intimacy. Shaking hands, patting on the shoulder, etc are some displays of touching the heart of the other person.

Perceptional Differences of Husband and Wife

As a general rule of nature, male is always sex-hungry wile a female want more and more of love. Here, it is noteworthy that sex is a way of loving but it is not all of love. This takes us to conclude that what a male can provide is only a part of what a female needs. however, the additional thing what a male may provide to a female is protection of masculinity. Another logic taking to the same conclusion is that a female needs sex-play only when in mood of it while a male is ever-ready in all species of life. 

When in trouble, a males is in raze and anger but a female feels sadness and depression. Thus, the male response to an adversity is active while that of the females is passive, indicating that the two perceive things not only differently but in diametrically opposite ways. 

Although cultural differences of males and females also matter, the dominant role played in the above perceptional differences of males and females is by the biological differences of the two.  The males produce principally testosterone hormone in their testes while the females produce estrogen in their ovaries for acquiring their typical characteristics. Apart from these, males produce small amount of estrogen and females produce some testosterone providing them respectively the counter-characteristics. Thus testosterone seems to be a hormone of activation while estrogen is producer of passivity. 

Since, the above perceptional differences are psychological, brain is not the only source of perceptions. This study suggests that testosterone in testes and estrogen in ovaries also make psychological impacts on personality. This proves my differentiation of mind and brain functions in human bodies.

The third difference is that of male female personalities - softness of females and masculinity of males, the sources of which are the above hormones in the two types of bodies. Consequently, the male bodies are more adaptive to varying environment than the female bodies. In-spite of this, the females are more tolerant to adversities of life than males. 

Culturally, men are more careful of female infidelity for fear of bringing up somebody else's kids whereas women are protective of emotional attachments because the biggest danger for them is being left alone with the burden of single parenthood.