Lust, Passion and Love Mechanisms

The terms lust, passion and love are though general terms and mean differently under different references, here these refer to compatible male-female relationships.

Lust is a demand of body, instinctively wild, having no discretion. All living-beings, including humans, have it but due to advancements in human civilization, lust remains suppressed or works in hiding. In civilized humans, the body demands it, mind desires it but the brain - faculty of thinking, forbids it at least in public view or knowledge. So lusty persons find excuses to be at it one way or the other.


Passion is the working of the human mind which resides part by part in every organic system of the body to regulate their functioning including passions. Every organic system has its own passion, like the visual system desires to see beautiful things, taste buds desire to find the most tasty food, etc. and most importantly for this article, the sex organs get passioned for sweet loving interaction of mating. All the passions are monitored by the brain which may impose some restrains on them.


Love is the purest of feelings for a dear one and it originates in the brain, so is the result of thoughtfulness and hence discretionary. Everyone of us wants to love some and be loved in reciprocation. Thus love flows in both directions of the relationship. This makes it the most conservative of all relationships.


The fields of lust, passion and love gets narrower in this order, meaning thereby that lust is widespread, passion is medium-spread and the love is reserved for a few, or probably the one, most beloved. Lust and passion are not necessarily reciprocal, but the love is certainly. Nobody can love a person without being loved in reverse.


A lust may get converted to a passion but not necessarily. Path from lust to love goes via mutual passions of the two for each other. A passion if positively reciprocated may get converted to a love between the two. Since there is a very thin line of demarcation between mutual passion and love, the only difference that appears is that of mutuality. Thus, a unidirectional love is passion while a bidirectional passion is love. 



A passion tends to get converted to love but a pair of lover-beloved may not be passionate for each other. They may just keep on loving each other without any physical contact which is the desire of every passion.    

Styles in Attraction

Every living-being has a natural attraction to a compatible being, particularly of the opposite gender. But all do not get success in attracting the desired mate. This is true even for humans and we shall discuss here attractiveness of compatible humans for a mating.  Difference between getting attracted and affecting attraction depends on the individual behavior of the persons, the most important factor being how the attraction is expressed to the desired person. 

On research, five styles of attraction are found, described below.

1. Physical Attraction : This is the most common style wherein one express his/her desire of a loving interaction with the other who may or may not feeling the attraction. In western countries, this style achieves maximum success rate but in the east, for people giving more importance to emotions this style finds few takers, except in commercial deals. This style needs that the proposer knows well the chemistry of copulation for satisfying the opposite. If that be, the two may develop an emotional bonding for each other, easily and naturally. 
2. Traditional Style : This style is based on the presumption that the man must propose first and the woman is to follow suit. Women of this thinking fail to attract men for their non-expression of their attraction. Even man is needed to have long-term familiarity with the woman for establishing the relationship. Such people are often introvert and feel shy in expressing their attractions. The east has more of this tradition. 
3. Sophisticate Style : In this style, there are no preconceived purposes in mind for attracting somebody, but the person naturally behaves with the highest level of sophistication as a gentle person. This attracts someone to develop a fascination and have even a sexual relationship. This maintains the relationship sweet and long-lasting.  
4. Dedication Style : In this style, a person develops and expresses his/her dedication to the other without demanding anything in return. This causes development of an emotional bridge between the two which may culminate in a sexual relationship. The style may be adopted by men and women with equal success rate. The difference between this and the above sophisticate style is that in this, the initiator chooses a target while in the other, no target is chosen but the other person gets attracted towards the sophisticate.
5. Pleasure Style : This style aims at having a sexual relationship just for pleasure and for the time-being like the commercial sex. It is immoral and does not lead to long-term relationships.      

The purpose behind this study is to understand mutual relationships in human societies. This affects marital relations and tradition and hence affects the whole humanity. In essence, morality need be observed in a sexual relationship and a friendly sex to meet each other's emotional needs is no sin.  

Friendship, Love and Sex

Friendship is a common relationship between any two living-beings. It is normally meant to help each other in case of needs of the two. For this reason, it is often said, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". But this is a narrow view of friendship. It means a relationship free from any vested interests. The question is then what is the necessity of having a friend.

Friendship, in real terms, is an emotional bond between the two. Since, humans are more emotional than other species of life on earth for their intellectual evolution, they tend to make more friends. It serves the purpose of emotional satisfaction and stability for the individuals involved in a friendship. Above all other types of relationships, a friendship has the great advantage of being open-ended. It imposes no obligation on the persons involved. Yet as a duty, friends are there to help each other in every respect.

Friendship is usually between persons of common interests and age-groups. The age factor makes it convenient for them to discuss anything and seek help or advice on anything. This advantage is not available with other types of relationships. Further, a friendship does not impose any gender considerations. Friends may be of same or opposite genders.

When it comes to friendship of persons of opposite genders, it usually gets converted to love provided there are no social bars on their loving each other. Now-a-days, there are lesbian and gay couples also said to be in love, but that is inhuman and I shall not touch that issue more. The new development of online socializing and making friends seems to storm the field of friendliness, but most of the online friendships fizzle out soon because such friendships serve very limited purpose. This serving little purpose provides an advantage also. There can be only limited harm to each other if a friendship is fake or broken. Online friendships of opposite genders not only get converted to love affairs, many prospective lovers enter into online friendships to understand each other before going into a full-fledged love affair.

Love and sex often coexist to ripen and provide stability to each other. But having sexual enjoyment without a marital bonding is immoral and many orthodox societies don't allow it in the open. However, friendly sex has been conventionally permitted in the western world and the fire is spreading fast towards the East. So much so that this is branded as a symbol of progressiveness and modernism. This is doing more harm to the social fabrics than the good. Unwed mothers of teenage have become a common scene in the West. I know an unwed mother of 5 kids in great difficulty of taking care of the issues single-handedly.


Loving and having sex by married persons beyond their marital partners is immoral and often leads to break-up of families destabilizing the society but is not as harmful as love and sex between the unwed persons because the former may lead to change of partners only but the latter leads to extra burden, economic, social, psychological, on the mothers. .

Accept and Learn from Own Mistakes

There is only one way of becoming free from committing mistakes and that is not to do anything at all. Whosoever works and tries to do something, has chances of committing mistakes. A mistake is born out of a wrong perception of things under consideration. It is not the fault of the performer but an error in his/her judgement. But, this does not mean that we have a right to commit mistakes. We must make every effort and take every care for not committing a mistake. In-spite of this, if something goes wrong, we deserve to be pardoned. 

Indeed, every mistake teaches us not to repeat it through its realization by the performer, thus improving the individual and the organization he/she works for. Bold people commit more mistakes, retrieve from them faster and thus improve upon themselves faster than the average persons.


Many persons repent after committing a mistake, and try to hide it after evaluating the loss caused by it. Thus, they develop an inferiority complex within themselves jeopardizing their performances and making them prone to more mistakes. The right course after realizing a committed mistake is to explain its occurrence and its causes to others concerned. This teaches the self and the others about not committing a similar mistake in future and develops a deeper sense of cooperation amongst the colleagues. No doubt, this prevents others from raising an accusing finger on the person committing the mistake. 


A person may be fully or partially responsible for a mistake, and causes of the mistake may be beyond one's control. Through analysis of all such things, the mistakes is seen in a new light and making it a resource for learning rather than a burden. Further, in-spite of a mistake the result of the performance may not be adversely affected. Conversely, not getting the desired results is not a sure sign of any mistake by the performer. It may be circumstantial. Therefore, a mistake need not be viewed in light of the adverse results but need be analyzed irrespective of the results.


Every mistake costs something thus being harmful. Simultaneously, every mistake teaches something thus becoming beneficial. A mistake that causes less harm and provides more benefits is thus proves to be gainful in its wholeness. This proves that all mistakes are not harmful. The work-culture of an individual or an organization wherein mistakes are seen as resources of experiences and learning, rather than evaluated on the basis of financial losses from them.


Committing a mistake is a sure sign of the person being a performer and a pioneering experimentalist. Both of these attributes are positive and must be honored provided the mistakes are made good use of. If done so, occurrences of mistakes go no diminishing and take the performer towards excellence. Thus, mistakes are not signs of incapability and weakness of the performer but of his/her being a bold experimentalist, provided the performer makes good use of them through being curious to learn from them. 


Therefore, on realizing a mistake, one must -

• Accept his/her role in the mistake,
• Let others know what you learned from the mistake,
• Make sure that the mistake is not repeated,
• Keep confidence of others on your capabilities through being doubly cautious about not committing mistakes that shake other's confidence on your capabilities,

And never do the following after a mistake is committed -

• Don't find an excuse to escape of responsibility of committing the mistake,
• Don't blame anybody else for a mistake committed by you,
• Don't quit your bold experimental mentality after a mistake but do it more vigorously making it mistake-free.

And lastly, note that there are some irreversible actions and any mistakes in them are also irreversible. Therefore, be doubly cautious about such things and ensure their being mistake-free.